Breaking Free from Perfectionism: How Runners Can Unhook from Self-Judgment
Perfectionism is sneaky. It disguises itself as high standards, motivation, and discipline. For many runners, perfectionism becomes a mental trap that leads to self-judgment, avoidance, and burnout instead of progress.
In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we talk about getting “hooked” by unhelpful thoughts. When runners become hooked on self-judgment, it can fuel a cycle of perfectionism that makes running feel like a test rather than a joy. So, how does this happen? And more importantly, how can you recognize and step out of this cycle?
How Self-Judgment Fuels Perfectionism
Perfectionism in running often starts with a simple thought: “I’m not good enough.” Instead of noticing this thought and letting it pass, a runner may fuse with it—believing it fully and acting as if it were an absolute truth. From there, perfectionistic behaviors emerge as an attempt to control or escape that feeling of inadequacy. Here’s how that can play out:
Rigid training standards – Feeling like every run has to be fast, long, or "worth it" to count.
Fear of bad runs – Avoiding workouts or races unless conditions feel perfect.
Harsh self-talk – Berating yourself for missing a pace, stopping mid-run, or feeling fatigued.
Overanalyzing data – Obsessing over Strava stats or heart rate zones, searching for proof of “not being enough.”
All-or-nothing mindset – Seeing anything less than 100% effort as failure.
This kind of perfectionism can make running feel exhausting, not because of the miles, but because of the relentless internal pressure.
Signs You Might Be Stuck in a Perfectionist Loop
If you find yourself experiencing any of the following, you may be caught in a perfectionistic cycle:
✔ Avoidance: You skip runs because you’re afraid they won’t be “good enough.”
✔ Performance obsession: You’re constantly chasing PRs, and if a run doesn’t go well, it ruins your day.
✔ Unhelpful self-talk: You talk to yourself in ways you wouldn’t talk to a teammate or friend.
✔ Overtraining or undertraining: You push too hard trying to prove something—or avoid training because it never feels like enough.
✔ Loss of joy: Running feels more like pressure than passion.
Breaking the Cycle: Strategies to Unhook from Perfectionism
Instead of trying to eliminate negative thoughts or self-judgment, we can accept them and refocus on what truly matters. Here’s how:
💡 Notice the Hook – Start paying attention to thoughts like “I have to run perfectly” or “If I don’t hit my goal, I’m failing.” Name these thoughts as they arise. “Oh, there’s my judging mind talking again.” “There’s the dictator busy making up rules.”
💡 Defuse from Self-Judgment – Instead of treating your thoughts as absolute truth, practice seeing them as just words. Try saying, “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough,” instead of “I’m not good enough.” This small shift creates distance and helps you step back.
💡 Reconnect with Values – Ask yourself: Why do I run? If it’s about growth, joy, or resilience, then focusing on the process (not just perfect outcomes) is what truly aligns with your values.
💡 Practice Imperfect Action – Give yourself permission to run when conditions aren’t ideal, when you’re not feeling your best, or when your stats aren’t impressive. Show up anyway.
💡 Cultivate Self-Compassion – Instead of beating yourself up, talk to yourself the way you’d encourage a friend. “It’s okay to have a tough run. It doesn’t define me.”
Final Thoughts
Perfectionism makes big promises—it tells you that if you just train hard enough, control everything, and never make mistakes, you’ll finally feel “good enough.” But the truth? That moment never comes. The real freedom comes from accepting that you are already enough, right now, as you are.
So, the next time you find yourself getting hooked by self-judgment, pause. Take a breath. Then lace up and run—not to prove anything, but because running itself is what you love.
One final comment. This isn’t easy. It takes hard work and just like running, it takes practice and it’s nice to get some help with it. If you’re here in Colorado reach out to me to schedule a free introductory call.
#RunImperfectly #AcceptanceAndCommitmentTherapy #BreakThePerfectionismTrap