I was laughing and giggling at the ridiculousness of my situation. I’ve come eight-one miles. and for the most part I felt fine, I was hydrated, fueled well, I felt comfortable in the heat and sun, I felt comfortable in the cold and dark…but my calves were tight, painful knots of searing hate. Straightening my legs required maximum effort and four-letter words.

For those of you who were following along. I didn’t finish Lead Challenge. Once again, I was cut-off on the bike, this time at sixty-three miles. Then cut-off on the run a week later at…sixty-three miles.

While I felt ‘stronger’ on the bike I wasn’t faster. For three years in a row, I came into the forty-mile mark at the same exact time – literally, you can’t get closer - four hours and seven minutes exactly. The run was a bit different. I was significantly faster and stronger but fatigue from the races slowed me to a crawl once I was on the big climbs. A big sign that durability was a problem.

How often do you start an event or even a workout and you tell yourself:

Just don’t lose.

Don’t come in last.

Don’t hurt yourself.

Don’t fall.

Don’t fail...

The fear of failure can make us risk adverse.

We start to play not to lose. We don’t push ourselves as hard as we could because there is a risk of not being successful in the task.