I hate when it shows up…

That miserable feeling standing at a starting line feeling like you don’t belong. That for some reason your mind tells you that you’re not worthy of being here…

I remember one of my first marathons picking up my race packet and looking around intimidated. My mind was racing: “These people look athletic! - I don’t look like that - What are you doing here!?”

I’d have a sinking feeling – the self-critic came out whips and all.

I was laughing and giggling at the ridiculousness of my situation. I’ve come eight-one miles. and for the most part I felt fine, I was hydrated, fueled well, I felt comfortable in the heat and sun, I felt comfortable in the cold and dark…but my calves were tight, painful knots of searing hate. Straightening my legs required maximum effort and four-letter words.

You trained for months. You imagined crossing the finish line. You pushed through every cold, early morning, spent time away from family, friends, work, ran your heart out…and then…You didn’t finish.

A DNF can cut deep. It can shake your confidence, your identity as an athlete, and your trust in your own body. I am no stranger to DNF’s – just check out this post a few years back and this podcast. But I’m going to tell you, DNF’s are not the opposite of success. They’re opportunities to rebuild self-belief from the inside out.