Leadman Training: The Shoulds

Riding through the slick rock country of Utah taking a three day skills course, I found myself deep in the ‘should’ weeds.

Maybe you’ve heard them before:

I should be riding better.

I should be better than that guy.

I should be able to do this drop.

The truth is though I’m a mental performance consultant and psychotherapist I am just as fallible as the next person to get hooked on rules we create for ourselves. ( if you find a therapist or mental performance consultant that says they have all of their shit together and are perfect - find someone else - cause that may be their problem).

The danger of these should’s is that the radio playing in the background can get louder and louder. Then you’re hooked in and fighting the the thoughts and feelings - reacting to them instead of focusing on what WILL get you to your goal - in my case - look up and ahead, stay on your feet, hinge your hips…. and breathe.

I also tend to find excuses, maybe you do to - my bike is an older cross-country bike with 100mm drop, the nicer enduro or trail bikes will handle this a lot better - my contacts are dry, my helmet is too big and blocking my vision, you name it.

Unhooking from the shoulds gets harder and harder when you get tired and fatigued, and you get tired faster when you are tense - it becomes a viscous cycle. Learning to respond and unhook from these unhelpful thoughts when you’re uncomfortable takes work…

Here are a couple ideas on how I address it:

Catch it. Recognize that you’re hooked. Namethe thought or feeling - “I am noticing that I am in the ‘should weeds.’

Address it by anchoring or grounding. Notice your breathing the air blowing around you the smell of the pinyon and sage. BREATHE inhale sloooowly and exhale sloooowly (6 seconds in - 7 seconds out is a good method).

Refocus - look ahead, balanced on feet, hinged at the hips and on to the next drop.

Don’t get into an argument with yourself as to whether or not these are accurate thoughts - these are just thoughts, maybe they are accurate, maybe they are not, if you’re spending time in the argument you’re not focusing!

Another key - and I mentioned this in the last post Progressively and Deliberately Practice. Intentionally go into a ride knowing what mental skill you’re going to practice. Practice it on EASY rides then practice it hard rides. Practice your mental skills all of the time so they become natural when you’re getting hooked on the ‘should’s’ and find yourself in the weeds.

Finally, be compassionate with yourself. Your mind is only doing what it does ultimately to protect you, it’s just not being helpful right at that moment. Drop the struggle. Come back to the present and refocus.

Thanks for reading - if you have questions or would like to set up a session please feel free to contact me!