The Power of Willingness
Carrying Discomfort in the Service of What Matters
Every endurance and mountain sport athlete knows the moment when their legs burn, their stomach churns, and their mind screams to stop.
We work arduously to rid ourselves of these distractions - of these annoying thoughts and feelings that push us towards quitting, but to no avail. They keeping coming back. We can push them down, ignore them, sometimes we try to ‘reframe’ them – which isn’t necessarily a bad thing - if it works. But like flies on shit, they keep coming back.
How do we get rid of them? What the secret to get them to stop pushing us around?
I like to look at differently, a little more mindfully.
The question shouldn’t be how do I get rid of these thoughts, feelings or sensations? But…
Am I willing to carry them with me in service of what matters?
In other words, am I able to be open to experience this discomfort both mentally and physically in the service of my values and goals – of what matters to me most?
Am I able to risk failure, lean into self-doubt and the fear of what others may think of me – willingly in the service of my values and goals.
Dr. Russ Harris a world-renowned trainer and author for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) suggests that there are two meanings of willingness. First in terms of acceptance - we willingly make room for our thoughts, feelings and sensations. Two, willingness as a quality of action, that we do something willingly, as opposed to resentfully or reluctantly. (Harris, 2019).
What Willingness Isn’t
Willingness is not about “toughing it out” or pushing through blindly. It’s also not about trying to eliminate fear, pain, or doubt. We can also distinguish willingness from avoidance, control, or suppression strategies that often backfire.
Think for a moment – often when we try to avoid a thought or feeling, it tends to just pop back up like a beach ball in a pool. You’re also wasting precious energy on fighting it. The reframes sometimes work as well, and I often use them mental performance and therapy, but a lot of times those thoughts just keep showing up no matter what we do.
How about we surf the waves instead of fighting them?
What Willingness Is
Willingness is openly allowing for uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, and sensations. It’s choosing to carry discomfort when it serves your values or goals. Willingness has a flexible stance: “I don’t have to like this feeling, but I’m willing to have it if it helps me move toward what matters.”
Willingness is dropping the struggle with fighting and fleeing from difficult thoughts, feelings and sensations and moving towards what matters. It’s surfing the waves. Or in terms of mountain sports – its letting gravity do the work for us.
Why Willingness Matters for Endurance and Mountain Athletes
Racing, climbing, skiing, running all come with discomfort, doubt, a lot of times anxiety and the ever-present risk of failure. Avoidance from those thoughts and feelings often leads to quitting, spirals of overthinking, or disengagement. Willingness in turn creates space to stay connected to purpose (finishing, exploring limits, living your values).
Say to yourself: “I am willing to have this experience in service of these values and goals…”
Let’s look at it this way, if you didn’t care about what you were doing you might not have these thoughts and feelings, you’re having them because you care.
Practical Examples
Running: Willingness to feel fatigue and keep moving toward the finish line.
Suffering through vision difficulties for 15-miles, seeing mostly out of one eye, I finished Run Rabbit Run in 2017. Willingness to open up the the discomfort that I couldn’t control was part of the picture.
Climbing: Willingness to experience fear while staying focused on technique.
Injury recovery: Willingness to face frustration and grief while staying engaged in the rehab process.
How to Practice Willingness
Start by noticing & naming: “I’m having the thought that I can’t do this.”
Open up: Allow sensations, thoughts and feelings to come and go (butterflies, heavy legs) without judgment. Without getting wrapped up in them. Sit with them.
Reconnect to values: Ask, “Why am I here? What matters in this moment?”
Take one step in line with values: Not the absence of fear, but action alongside it.
Takeaway
Willingness is less about grit and grind, and more about choice. The measure of success isn’t how comfortable you can make the journey, it’s how willing you are to carry discomfort in the service of what matters most.
Take a moment to think about what thoughts come up for you when things get uncomfortable. Sit with them for a moment, are you willing to be open to them in the service of your values - who you want to be and how you want to show up?
Harris, R. (2019). Act Made Simple: An Easy Primer on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. New Harbinger Publications, Oakland, CA, Kindle Ed.