April 14, 2023 Mindset
Neal’s thoughts on mental performance and mental health.
1) Motivation
Motivation comes from multiple sources and motivation is dynamic, always changing. Use all the sources and be prepared to use more. Dig from inside - Internal sources - autonomy, mastery, curiosity, connection, values and goals… and even extrinsic sources, those from outside of you (but use these less frequently and don’t rely on them!) Having one big ‘why’ is great but don’t put all your egss in one basket. Spend time reflecting where motivation comes for you, know your story. Know that when you’re fatigued or under a high cognitive load (lots of stress) that motivation may faulter - where’s it going to come from when you’re worn down? Also, know this - you don’t have to have motivation to put one foot forward. That momentum can trigger an inner cascade of neurotransmitters and hormones to kick the motivation into gear!
2) Mental Toughness
My stance on mental toughness is always changing (as are a lot of things… just because we have an opinion on something and sometimes a strong one doesn’t mean we aren’t able to change it). One thing is for certain, it can trigger a lot of unhelpful behaviors and is abused by some coaches and mental performance professionals.
That being said the term mental toughness is one that defines a lot of mental skills and states that we all can access - challenging goals, self-control, and increasing self-efficacy. Just because you’ve had a bad day doesn’t mean you’re not tough! Stop being a bullly to yourself and treat yourself the way a good friend, teacher or coach would would treat you - with kindness and compassion, look for the lesson, open up to the discomofort and keep moving forward.
3) Comparing
So many coaches and even therapists get this wrong. Comparing is normal. Many will say, ‘stop comparing.’ Comparing is necessary to learn, motivate and even build self-efficacy. What happens though is we get hooked on our own cognitive distortions. (little games our mind does to twist things around a bit). Our mind starts creating rules - “I should look like that,” “I should be faster…smarter…thinner” you name it.
These unhelpful distortions are the problem. Yes, we probably shouldn’t be on Strava every moment of the day for many reasons - or Instagram or Facebook for that matter. but avoiding things because we are making these distortions is avoiding the problem…. I might as well never run with faster friends.
How do I stop this process? Well, it aint easy and takes time, start by being kind to yourself! Here are a couple of quick ways that may help. The first part is noticing when you are getting hooked on these distortions, when they are pushing you around. Name it. Know it for what it is. What is the emotion or thought that’s coming up? You might say ‘well, it’s accurate.’ Accurate or not, it’s pushing you around and punishing you. We can reframe it and that may work, we can work finding something more helpful to say to ourselves and that may work. A lot of times though sitting with the emotion, opening up, naming it as uncomfortable as it is. “There’s my mind bullying me again.” Note, I’m not saying giving in. I’m saying Open up to the discomfort. Don’t react. Reset, take a slow deep breath. Refocus. What can I control? You can still move towards your values, goals and aspirations no matter what your mind is doing. Also, seek help if your getting hooked a lot, if it’s pushing you around to the point of anxiety, depression or effecting your performance work with a therapist or trained mental performance consultant or coach.
That’s it for today stay tuned for more.
Quick reminder that while I am a therapist and mental performance consultant I may not be your therapist or mental performance consultant. All the content here is for educational purposes. Please see my social media policy for questions. If you’re needing help, and here in Colorado, do not hesitate to reach out to me and if we’re a good fit we can schedule an appointment.